the day that wouldn't end

The twenty-seventh of December was not our day. We had driven to Mendocino on the day before and were planning on taking a day trip up to the redwoods along the Avenue of the Giants. The day started out fine. We woke up in our little rented room and discovered that Marie had cut her first tooth overnight, but we had yet to realize that there were hours of tooth-related crankiness still ahead. We got ready, headed into town and had a nice breakfast (albeit with pretty terrible coffee), and after a brief stop at the ocean's edge, we were on our way up Highway 1.

But a mile or two north of Fort Bragg, traffic came to a standstill. There was an accident ahead, and it had blocked the road in both directions. It seemed the only thing to do was to turn around and take a different route, and that's exactly what we did. Our different route turned out to be an incredibly long detour, however, and it was hours before we got we were anywhere near our destination. Along the way, nothing seemed to go in our favor; traffic was bad, the road was hard and mountainous, the weather left much to be desired, and at some point, Marie had such an explosive bowel movement that she managed to soil nearly every article of clothing she was wearing. Of course, her mama had forgotten to bring a spare set of clothes.

We finally got to the Avenue of the Giants and reached the visitor center. By this time, it was 3:30 or 4 in the afternoon, and with all the tall trees and whatnot, it was pretty well near dark. We headed for Founder's Grove to take a look at some of the biggest redwoods in the world and got ready to take a little walk through the trees in driving rain.

As we started the trail loop through the grove, it was clear that Marie was not enjoying herself (to be honest, I wasn't enjoying myself that much either, but I was determined to make the most of it at this point). She was fussing a lot and crying any time Toffi stood still (he was carrying her in the Ergo Baby). Taking pictures and filming wasn't easy in the extremely low light, and the rain made it even harder, but I did the best I could. The trees were absolutely mind-blowing, and as always, I was in awe of them, but it still wasn't exactly the experience for which we had been hoping. After twenty minutes, we were back in the car and Marie was not happy. Fortunately, we were able to get back on the highway right away and head back to Mendocino. I was looking forward to picking up some takeout food and beer and enjoying it in our cozy room with the ocean view.

Little did I realize that the adventure had just begun. The drive was really tough in the dark and the rain. I had to concentrate more than I think I ever have while behind the wheel. At one point, I got in behind a CalTrans snow plow and followed it as a kind of orientation. This helped a lot, but it turned out to be more than just a convenient driving aid because only a few miles after turning off onto Highway 1, the rain turned to snow. About a quarter mile after that, we started sliding.

Now it's one thing to slide around in the snow. It's another thing to slide around on a narrow, winding, 2-lane mountain road with a deadly drop-off at the non-existent shoulder. Fortunately, there were two pickups stopped at the point where this happened, and the people belonging to these vehicles turned out to be very kind and helpful. I had decided that I was no longer capable of driving. The situation had made me nervous and shaky. Also, Toffi has a lot more experience driving in wintry conditions. I got out of the car, took Marie out, and Toffi now had to turn the car around in the snow. The pickup drivers helped push the car and acted as extra eyes for Toffi to make the turn. I was paralyzed by fear as I watched him maneuver the car so close to the edge - I had horror visions of him going off the road after having taken on the risk and responsibility of getting the two of us to safety. But he got the car turned around just fine, and it was time for me and Marie to get back in.

I thought that all this meant we would have to spend hours going the long way around. In other words, it would be a long, stressful drive back. It turned out to be much worse. By the time we had retraced our steps back town Highway 1 to the junction with 101, the snow had reached lower elevations, and 101 was subject to the same conditions we had just encountered on 1. I was pretty much gripped with terror in the back seat, unable to console Marie, who was crying inconsolably. I'm not sure whether it was her tooth, the dark, whether she was hungry or sick of being in her car seat, or whether my anxiety was rubbing off. In any event, she was certainly not happy about the situation. Needless to say, I wasn't happy either. I was hungry, tired and had a headache, and I was pretty much sure we were all going to die. The road was so bad, it was snowing so hard, and the road was so windy and steep. Not only that, but we kept seeing vehicles on the side of the road, obviously stuck. At one point, we say two big rig trucks that had spun out in a curve. Toffi did a fantastic job driving, though, and he got us to Laytonville safely, where we pulled into a Chevron station so I could finally nurse Marie and then go inside to hear anything I could about road conditions south of town.

From everything we heard, it didn't get better further down - it got worse. Locals were talking about the worst storm and road conditions in 30 years, and CalTrans had closed Highway 101 from Willits to Ukiah. In other words, without chains (which I had, in my infinite wisdom, left in Sacramento), we weren't gonna leave Laytonville that evening. So the next thing to do was to find a place to stay, but all the hotels - all 3 of them - were full. We went to all of them anyway and asked if they could help us out, but all to no avail. My freaking out continued. Toffi and I could have slept in the car, but what about Marie? We couldn't do that to her. I was having new visions - ones of us stuck in this tiny redneck town for a week, snowed in so bad that we'd miss our flight back to Germany. Toffi didn't have any contact solution with him, I didn't have my medication with me, and we had no fresh clothes for Marie, so we'd be blind, dirty and going through massive medication withdrawal for days. So in my desperation, I walked up to the cashier at the gas station and said, "I feel a little weird asking this, but do you know anyone in town who'd be willing to put up two strangers with a baby?"

My boldness was rewarded. He told me where the local pastor lived and said he was sure he'd help us out somehow. When I knocked on the pastor's door and asked him to help us out, I didn't even have to fake cry - I was so shaken from the evening's adventures that I had been fighting back tears for hours. So we spent the night in a spare room at the Laytonville pastor's house. He found us some pillows and blankets, and I was even able to call my parents and tell them we were ok. I don't think I've ever been so grateful for the Church's existence. Things were definitely looking up. We McGuyvered a contact lens case using two Ziploc baggies marked "L" and "R" and some Visine, made sandwiches with some rubbery bread from the gas station, and watched a couple ancient B-westerns with John Wayne. We couldn't make my medication magically appear, but it wasn't horrible. Toffi took over driving the next morning, and we got back to Mendocino early enough for me to avoid any bad withdrawal symptoms.

It had stopped snowing and the road had been cleared by the time we left the next morning, but it was still a little slippery and precarious. We saw that it would have been absolute folly to attempt to drive any further the night before, and we saw several cars and trucks whose drivers had been that foolish. Most of them were lying in ditches in various states of disrepair.
We got back to Mendocino, showered, changed, packed, and after a nice lunch in town, we got the hell out of there and drove back to Sacramento - all the way without stopping even once. Home Sweet Home!!

Merry Christmas!

everyone also needs...

to read this. Amanda called my attention to it (Thanks, Hon). Consider it the complement to the last link on living with depression. This one is about living with a person who is depressed. I can't quite judge its accuracy as I've always been the person with depression, and my partners have been the ones having to cope with me and my illness. Nevertheless, I think it's quite worth the read. Especially if someone in your life is depressed and you're not sure if or how you can help.

bouncing baby

Marie got an early Christmas present...


As you can see, she loooooooves it!

everybody needs ...

... to read this.

Seriously. I'm pretty sure everybody knows at least one person with depression or anxiety or both. And if you're reading my blog because you know me, then I'm certain you do. And if you think you don't, you're probably wrong and you're simply not aware that someone in your circle of friends and acquaintances struggles with mental illness. Anyway, this gal knows what she's talking about, and all I can say about it is amen.

banana bug

Yeah! Welcome to the wonderful world of solids! After spending the last 36 hours protesting the fact that she wasn't getting any food at the dinner table, Marie finally got her first taste of big kids' food. Although it was new and strange, our adventurous little munchkin was all smiles while I fed her a few teensie spoonfuls of mashed banana. Don't worry - Grandpa Born took pictures of the momentous event, but you'll have to wait a little to see them 'cause he used a "real" camera.

On another note, I think I forgot to tell y'all about Marie's 6-month checkup. She's developmenrally right on target and very strong for her age. She's 65 cm long/tall (that's 25.6 inches) and weighs 8050 grams (17 lbs 12 oz). She's also allergic to our new laundry detergent, which means we have to go back to using the expensive eco-friendly one. I guess Marie's just a "green" baby.

no end in sight

Well, these teeth are simply not letting up. Every day it seems to get even more intense. We've moved on to giving Marie chilled things to chew on - something she didn't like only a few days ago. But now madame is très cranky and very happy to have something cold to relieve the pain. She has had happy moments, though, many of which she has spent on her brand new throne. Yes, Her Majesty, Sovereign Ruler of Her Universe, has a high chair. Watch out, world!